Morris had passed away. As his lawyer stood before the gathered family, he began reading Morris’s Last Will and Testament.
“To my beloved wife, Esther, I leave the house, 150 acres of land, and $1 million.
To my son, Barry, I bequeath my Big Lexus and the brand-new Jaguar.
To my daughter, Shirley, I leave my yacht and $250,000.
And to my brother-in-law, Aaron, who always insisted that health is more valuable than wealth, I leave my treadmill.”
A little old Texas lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
“Good morning,” said the young man, “If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners, straight from California.”
“Go away!” said the old lady, “I haven’t got any money to spend on things like that!” and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.
“Don’t be too hasty!” he said. “At least wait until you’ve seen my demonstration.”
And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.
“If this vacuum cleaner doesn’t remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder, cross my heart.”
The old lady stepped back and said, “Wait here while I go get a spoon. I hope you’ve got a darn good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning.”
