The longtime wine taster

The longtime wine taster at an old vineyard had passed away, and the manager needed a replacement. One day, a scruffy, ragged homeless man walked in and insisted he had the skills for the job. Amused, the manager decided to humor him.

He handed the man a glass of wine. The man swirled, sniffed, sipped, and spit. “Red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope, aged in oak barrels.”

The manager raised an eyebrow. “Impressive.”

He handed him another. The man tasted and nodded. “Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in steel vats.”

Now thoroughly intrigued, the manager exchanged a glance with his secretary and smirked. She returned with a mystery glass.

The man took a sip, paused, and then announced, “Blonde, 27 years old, three months pregnant… and if I don’t get this job, I’ll tell you who the father is!”

The minister, decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.

He said ‘Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach.

Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind’ the pastor shouted out ‘CROSS.’

Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, ‘THE OLD RUGGED CROSS.’

The pastor hollered out ‘GRACE.’ The congregation began to sing ‘AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound.’

The pastor said ‘POWER.’ The congregation sang ‘THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD.’

The Pastor said ‘S*X’ The congregation fell into total silence.

Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything.

Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing ‘MEMORIES.’